Overcoming Layoff Guilt: How to Thrive When Surviving a Layoff
Losing a job can be a traumatic experience for anyone. And it can be unexpectedly challenging when you’re one of the employees who kept their job after a layoff, experiencing layoff guilt.
It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions when colleagues and friends are suddenly out of work. Especially when you’re still sitting at your desk, in the same job, doing the same thing you were before layoffs decimated the company, your department, and your colleagues.
The Effects of Surviving a Layoff
Julie Shore understands the emotional side of a job loss. As president of Career Development Advisors, Shore works with both individuals and organizations and provides a variety of outplacement service plans for organizations.
Shore, also a SHRM-SCP-Certified Professional in HR by the National Human Resource Management Association, worked in HR early in her career and “has been on the other side of the table, having to let people go,” she said.
She’s also remained at an organization after layoffs and has firsthand experience seeing the demoralizing effects a layoff can have on those who remain with the organization.
“People were usually somewhat unsettled, struggling with the loss of their coworkers, and left wondering what the future direction of their department or function was since the people let go were not being replaced,” says Shore. “They also worried about how and when the next round of layoffs might happen.”
Shore was asked what helped the remaining employees overcome the difficult and stressful time.
“Talking with other team members helped,” she said. “Company leaders also added some reassurances and openly discussed the new direction and how it would evolve.”
Over time, those who remained with the organization returned to a sense of normalcy, as much as possible, by coming together at work and outside of work.
“Getting over it happened when employees banded together during the workday and started doing things outside of work such as happy hours and other team events,” says Shore. “There was increased communication within this group, and that helped. Like most things, it just took time.”
The Emotional Roller Coaster of Surviving a Layoff
Surviving a layoff can be an emotional roller coaster. You are likely relieved to have kept your job, but at the same time, struggling with the guilt of keeping your job while a colleague or friend was let go. There’s anxiety, wondering if you will be next, and even remorse.
“Part of the guilt comes from the grief of losing the role of having a friend in an everyday environment,” says Alex Milligan, cofounder and chief marketing officer (CMO) of NuggMD, an alternative medicine technology platform. “The guilt also comes from the suddenness of that person’s departure. Layoffs are unprecedented and often happen without any clear-cut explanation.”
That’s what happened to marketing professional Susan Tyson when the Texas-based software company she worked for eliminated 25 jobs. At first, she was relieved, Tyson told CBS MoneyWatch.
But then her emotions took over. Regret started to sink in.
“My first thought was, ‘Yippee, it’s not me!’ And my second thought was feeling very guilty that others lost their jobs, and I didn’t,” said Tyson. “Many of the people I worked with were let go, and you just feel bad whenever that happens.”
Why Layoffs Happen
It’s important to know that layoffs and downsizing decisions are not necessarily caused by any specific fault of the employees. They usually result from decreasing sales or customers, cash, or material resources within the organization, says Karli Waldon, managing partner, president, and COO of the Talent War Group, a leadership development and executive search firm.
“I think that it’s really important for employees to understand why an organization may go through a layoff as it isn’t always due to financial downturn,” says Waldon.
“It is quite common for organizations to go through headcount reviews and financial exercises as market demands change, products change, and organizations go through mergers and acquisitions. Commonly, there are duplicated positions or skillsets within a merger or acquisition where new or existing leadership will look to save some dollars and eliminate overlap.”
Common Signs of Layoff Guilt
No matter the reason, it’s never easy to lose a job or remain at an organization after a company eliminates jobs.
Layoff guilt is a common phenomenon that can significantly impact your mental health and well-being. You may experience a wide range of emotions and wonder why you weren’t included in the layoff, feel guilty for not being able to help your laid-off colleagues, or worry about your future job security.
These feelings are entirely normal and understandable, but they can also be debilitating if not addressed.
The article 7 Ways to Overcome the Layoff Survivor Sickness on Geeks for Geeks, a community platform for programmers to share ideas and resources, stated this: “Like with any traumatic incident, survivors encounter a variety of negative side effects, including decreased productivity, a lack of faith in organizational dedication and leadership, unfavorable attitudes, and increased work-life balance difficulties.”
According to a report by the Institute for Employment Studies (IES), these are some of the negative consequences of workplace survivor syndrome:
- Loss of confidence in the upper management of the company
- Frustration at the layoff procedure
- Guilt for continuing to work when others lose their job
- Fear of becoming “next” to be fired
- Resentment about having to do more work.
One of the most prominent stressors of surviving a layoff is wondering, “Am I next?”
Changing one’s attitude and perspective can be key to overcoming layoff guilt. It won’t happen instantly, but with the right mentality, one can shift their fears and focus. Instead of worrying about what happened and if you are next, try focusing on how you can make an impact during this difficult time.
“The reality is, no one’s position is guaranteed, and we are all replaceable,” says Waldon. “Try being part of the solution and a cultural force multiplier by bringing people together to find innovative ideas and solutions to get through trying times,” says Waldon.
Tips for Overcoming Layoff Guilt
There is no one-size-fits-all guide for overcoming layoff guilt. But by incorporating the right attitude and the right strategies at the right time, one can overcome the mental and emotional challenges of surviving a layoff and get back to being a productive member of the organization.
These tips can help achieve that:
Come to Terms and Recognize the Emotions
“Bottling up emotions has never been a long-term strategy to move past a stressful event or situation,” says Waldon. In these situations, others within your organization likely feel the same way, so reaching out and building relationships through this tough time can be helpful and still achieve the mission.
Find Your Purpose and Passion
Get back to your “why” and purpose for doing what you do. Reignite and revisit the passion for WHAT you do, not just WHO you do it for.
Assess Your Role After the Change
What is the same? What is changing? How will you manage? Don’t be afraid to initiate a conversation with your boss or supervisor about your concerns or to brainstorm options to manage the change in work.
“Be able to calmly and clearly articulate what you need to do your best work,” says Shore. “Is it flexibility in your work schedule now that the workload has increased? Is it the ability to work additional days from home to avoid office interruptions and be more productive? So long as it is valuable to the mission of your organization and the people you serve, assume positive intent and be brave enough to have a respectful dialogue.”
Communicate With Your Manager
Reach out to your manager to discuss any concerns or questions you have about the layoff and how it will affect your role. Be open and honest about your feelings and ask for clarity about your responsibilities and the company’s plans moving forward.
Speak Up, Especially if You’re Feeling Overwhelmed
“In a lot of instances with layoffs, there is additional work from those affected that is dispersed among the remaining team, increasing workload, which doesn’t exactly help with the stress and anxiety,” says Waldon. “Set appropriate boundaries with colleagues and management by outlining responsibilities and prioritizing the most urgent items.”
Determine what meetings truly require your presence. Are there deadlines or meetings you can reschedule or push back to handle the shift in workload? If so, do just that, says Shore.
Seek Support
It’s normal to feel a range of emotions after a mass layoff, including survivor’s guilt, anxiety, and uncertainty. Seek support from colleagues, friends, or a therapist to process your feelings and cope with the changes in the workplace. If your company offers an Employee Assistance Program, take advantage of these services.
Avoid the Gossip
Every company has Negative Nancys and Donnie Downers. They fret over things you can’t control and stir the pot with office gossip. These colleagues can make your days miserable, filled with negativity, rumors, and gossip, such as “I heard we might be next.” Or things like “It’s just a matter of time before we lose our job.”
Don’t get caught up in those games. Keep your head down. Focus on the job and being the best employee that you can be. It stings losing friends and colleagues. It stings more to lose a job.
Don’t send emails or IMs bashing the company. Don’t go on social media tirades or rants. Keep your cool. Keep your focus.
“Avoid gossiping at all costs,” says Karen Young, founder and President of HR Resolutions, a full-service human resources management company. “Don’t get caught up in the drama. If someone whispers in your ear, politely tell them you’re not sure, but they should discuss their concerns with their boss.”
This is the time, despite the shock, to be the best you can be.
“Step up,” says Young. “Ask how you can help. Contribute to the culture, don’t detract from it.”
Be the Ultimate Team Player
With fewer colleagues, you may need to step up and take on additional responsibilities or tasks. Be proactive and offer to help where you can demonstrate your value to the company and show your commitment to the team.
“Make this your moment by picking up additional responsibilities, offering to help or to train others,” says Young. “Make yourself indispensable.”
Stay Positive and Be Adaptable
Change can be difficult, but it’s vital to stay positive and adaptable during mass layoffs. Look for opportunities to gain experience and thrive in your role. Be open to new ideas and be willing to take on new challenges to help the company succeed. Ultimately, you may find renewed joy in your role and learn valuable new skills.
Focus on Professional Development
Use the time after the layoff to focus on your professional development. Take courses or certification programs, attend industry events (to learn and network), or seek out mentorship opportunities to upskill and stay current in your field.
Put Yourself in the Place of Your Colleagues
Many of your laid-off colleagues are scrambling, rushing to update their resumes, frantically networking, and stressing about financial concerns. This can be especially true if no severance packages or outplacement services were offered. It’s a good reminder to update your resume, continue to network, and expect the unexpected. Let this be a lesson to always be prepared for an unexpected job loss.
Develop a Routine
Keeping a routine is critical—both in your personal life and work life. “Make sure you focus on your wellness,” says Shore. “If exercise is important to you, don’t give that up. If taking your child to school is important to you, try not to give that up—most days of the week.”
Evaluate Your Career Path
Worried about the future? Wondering if you should consider a new job or career path? Consult with a mentor or hire a career development coach to help you through this time.
Moving Forward
Layoff guilt is a common phenomenon that can have a significant impact on your mental health and well-being, particularly if you are the one who survived the layoff. Remember, you are not alone in this experience. With time, the right attitude, and adapting to change, you can move forward in your career.
Follow these tips to maintain your mental health and well-being and thrive in your personal and professional life when surviving a layoff.
